“Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.” – Mother Teresa
As we all continue to face unprecedented and chaotic times, it can be easy to forget the importance of showing kindness to the people in our immediate circle.
Sometimes, a kind word, compliment, or gesture, can turn someone’s day around, filling a void that they didn’t even know was there.
Today, we encourage you to reach out to your loved ones and show them some unsolicited kindness. You may find that you brighten their day, as well as yours!
When we have difficult or sensitive conversations with someone we love, especially if it’s about an unsolvable conflict (read more about solvable vs. unsolvable conflicts here), we can sometimes unknowingly approach that conversation with defensiveness, or an unwillingness to compromise.
Rolling your eyes, pulling away from your partner, or not listening attentively are some signs that you may not be approaching difficult conversations with a desire to resolve conflict or repair damage and instead may be wanting to get your point across or be right.
But, when we approach a conversation with a little vulnerability, we may be surprised at the outcome. Being vulnerable in conversations about conflict or disagreement helps both parties be more genuine, speak with kindness and respect, and work towards a solution or compromise.
Next time that you and your loved one need to discuss a sensitive topic, try to be intentional about showing your vulnerability to your partner. Whether it’s a physical touch, or a willingness to truly show and express your emotions, being vulnerable helps us maintain the intimacy and understanding that strengthens relationships long-term.
You may be surprised at the outcome when we are willing to soften our approach with a little vulnerabilty!
“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.” – Aesop Small acts of kindness can go a long way in showing someone that we care about them.
Take some time today and be intentional about showing kindness to someone that you love.
Cultivating your spiritual life is an important strategy to overcoming loneliness. Whatever that looks like for you – whether that means subscribing to a particular faith and seeking more support within that institution, or whether that means that you choose to explore your spirituality in other ways, such as by creating a vision board that outlines your values and goals in life.
Maybe, for you, a spiritual life includes a combination of those components, but what is most important is that you explore ways to find fulfillment beyond what you are doing on a day-to-day basis and also focus on a bigger perspective when you set your goals and think about how you live your life.
Oftentimes, people who experience feelings of loneliness are stuck in a cycle of perceptions, actions, and idea about their loneliness. It can be difficult to break out of this cycle, especially since our own experiences with loneliness can help to validate the cycle itself.
For example, if you have a negativity bias (“I’m not going to go to that get-together because I never have positive interactions with new people.”), then even if you do go to that gathering, you are more likely to perceive your interactions from a negative lens. This impacts how we interact with others and can impede our ability to connect, further exacerbating our feelings of loneliness.
In order to break out of the loneliness loop, it’s up to us to correct our own negative ideas about our loneliness. Challenging those negative thoughts when they arise is crucial to breaking out of the cycle of loneliness.
Whether you have a toolkit of coping strategies already in place, or whether you need to begin developing that toolkit, when we have “go-to” strategies to overcome difficult emotions, then we are more likely to employ those strategies in times of distress.
Think about what works for you when you are feeling low. Are you someone who enjoys being outside, going for walks and breathing in the fresh air? Or maybe, you prefer to seek out close friends for companionship.
Regardless of what works for you when you are lonely, it’s important to know what that is and employ that strategy as soon as possible into your feelings of loneliness.
It may seem counterintuitive to suggest being alone as a strategy to cope with and overcome loneliness but getting comfortable with the idea of being alone can actually help in overcoming loneliness.
Learning to enjoy your own company makes it easier to overcome those feelings of loneliness that people can sometimes experience when they’re not in a relationship, or they live far away from family, or they’ve just moved to a new city. In these instances, a perception of loneliness may be causing negative feelings, rather than the fact of actually being alone.
People who know how to be alone are more likely to know the difference between loneliness, which is a subjective experience, versus being alone, which is an objective experience. It becomes easier to accept that “loneliness is not necessarily about being alone,” and as a result, easier to find strategies that work in overcoming these feelings (Tiwari, 2013).
Some ways to practice being alone can include having your own movie night, taking a live virtual exercise class by yourself, or tuning into your artistic side and painting, reading, or learning to play an instrument. If all else fails, just being alone mindfully is a good skill that is always worth practicing.
Watch the HRI program on Coping with Loneliness for more strategies to overcome loneliness.
Source: Tiwari S. C. (2013). Loneliness: A disease?. Indian journal of psychiatry, 55(4), 320–322.. https://doi.org/10.4103/0019-5545.120536
Loneliness is hard to deal with at any time of the year, but when we experience loneliness during the holidays, it can seem a little bit harder to cope and overcome.
One important step in overcoming and coping with loneliness is to acknowledge your feelings. This allows you to more clearly figure out what steps you need to take to overcome that loneliness.
Read more about acknowledging and accepting feelings of loneliness here.
