Practice Healthy Communication

An important part of being a healthy relationship role model for kids is to practice healthy communication. This includes treating your child and other adults in your life with kindness and respect and interacting with them using healthy communication skills. Another key piece in promoting healthy relationships is talking to your kids about what healthy communication looks like and teaching them important skills to help them have healthy interactions with the people in their lives.

One step in practicing healthy communication is to avoid using blaming “you” statements when handling conflict, and instead, using “I” statements. By using “I” statements your kids will be able to observe positive examples of communication and conflict management and learn how to communicate using emotions. Not only is it important to model these behaviors, but it is also important to talk to your kids about why using “I” statements, as well as other healthy communication skills, can help them have healthier and more meaningful relationships.

Another great way to model healthy communication is to acknowledge and respect your child’s feelings. This will show them that it is safe to communicate how they feel, which will enable them to share their feelings and ideas with others in the future, while also respecting the other person’s opinions and emotions. An important part of encouraging your child to share their feelings is to help them develop a vocabulary of feeling words to express their emotions more effectively. By teaching children the importance of sharing their emotions and respecting the emotions of others, they will be able to foster healthy relationships and facilitate positive communication throughout their lives.

Express Love Openly and Often

Tell your kids how much you love them every day. By expressing your love for your children openly and often, you are teaching them that they are worthy of love. Not only is it important to verbally express your love, but it is also important to show it through your actions. This will be unique to each family, but it may look like physical affection or small acts of kindness. Open and readily available expressions of love and affection not only show your children that they deserve to be loved, but they also teach your children the importance of communicating their emotions to the people they care about. It is also important to model expressions of love by communicating these feelings to others you care about, such as family members, friends, and romantic partners. This can help your kids understand how love shows up and is communicated in different types of relationships.

Being a Healthy Relationship Role Model: Series Introduction

It’s safe to say that parents and caregivers want what is best for their children. They want them to achieve their goals, have dreams, and grow up to be happy, healthy adults, and a big part of this involves being able to foster and maintain happy, healthy, and safe relationships throughout their lives.

The most impactful way to teach your kids how to have healthy relationships, is to start at home. Your relationship with your child is a powerful tool to model healthy relationship behaviors, which they can develop and carry with them throughout their lives. You can teach your child essential healthy relationship skills, such as healthy communication, effective conflict management, and active listening, and problem-solving through your behaviors and interactions.

When thinking about what it means to be a healthy relationship role model, the phrase, “little eyes are always watching,” comes to mind. This phrase rings true, especially when thinking about how your actions and behaviors influence the way your child behaves and interacts with others. Children often model what they see, so it is important to be intentional about modeling healthy relationship behaviors not only through your interactions with them, but also through the way you treat and interact with other people in your life.

Here at HRI, we are passionate about equipping people in our community with the knowledge and skills to be healthy relationship role models to the children in their lives. Throughout the next week, we will be sharing tips to help you be a healthy relationship role model to your own kids, as well as children you may interact with through work, family gatherings, and more!

Taking Care of Yourself as a Grandparent Raising Grandchildren

While becoming a primary caregiver for your grandchild(ren) can lead to feelings of love and joy, it also takes a lot of time and energy. Caring for your grandchildren can be exhausting and overwhelming, especially if it is new and unexpected, and it can be easy to let your own needs go unmet. However, it is important to prioritize your health and well-being. When you take care of your own needs, you are a better version of yourself, enabling you to take better care of those you love, as well.

Raising children is hard work, and you deserve a break. We encourage you to prioritize your own mental, emotional, and physical needs. Take time to engage in self-care and reach out to others for support. This may look like asking a friend or family member to watch your grandchild(ren) for an evening, so you can enjoy a night to yourself. It can even be as simple as taking an hour of the day to read a book. Regardless of what self-care looks like for you, we encourage you to make it a part of your weekly routine!

 

Creating a Stable, Supportive Environment

By Eleanor Beeslaar

As you help your grandchild process his/her feelings related to the changes accompanying this new situation, it is crucial to create a stable, supportive environment. With the many changes they are experiencing, stability and structure will help your grandchild feel safe and secure. This will help them heal and will promote positive growth and development.

Here are some tips to help you create an environment that will help your grandchild thrive:

 

  • Establish a routine. A routine will create predictability in your grandchild’s life, which can foster feelings of safety, security, and comfort. This might look like set mealtimes and bedtimes, as well as rules that help you grandchild feel more in control during a time that can feel uncertain.
  • Set clear rules and enforce them consistently. Setting clear rules and enforcing them consistently will enable your grandchild to know what to expect, promoting feelings of safety and security.
  • Ask for your grandchild’s input. When creating rules and setting routines, allow your grandchild to give their input when appropriate, and encourage them to help you set up their room. This will help them feel like they have some control over the situation and can help them feel more at home.
  • Give your grandchild your time and attention. By offering your time and attention to your grandchild, you can promote connection and comfort, helping them feel loved and cared for. Not only will this strengthen your relationship, but it will also create consistency and help them navigate this transition successfully.

 

We hope the tips above will help you deepen your connection with your grandchild, while promoting safety, stability, and support!

 

Open Communication with Grandchildre

By Eleanor Beeslaar

Encourage open and honest communication with your grandchild. Not only will this help strengthen your relationship, but it will also help your grandchild feel comfortable to talk to you about their feelings and struggles related to this new situation. Your grandchild may have questions, concerns, and complicated feelings about you taking over the role of primary caregiver, and it is important for them to feel like they can come to you for answers and comfort.

Here are some tips to help promote open and honest communication with your grandchild:

  • Encourage your grandchild to talk about their feelings.
  • Ask you grandchild questions and check-in when you notice that they seem sad or upset.
  • Help you grandchild identify their emotions. You can do this by asking questions about what they are feeling.
  • Plan time to talk with your grandchild. This will ensure that you are both free of distractions and have quality time to connect.

When considering what and/or how much to tell your grandchild about the situation, keep the following in mind. Take your grandchild’s developmental stage into consideration and only tell them as much as they need to know. Telling your grandchild too many details may make it harder for them to understand and lead to them feeling confused and overwhelmed. It is also important to avoid telling your grandchild too little. By talking to your grandchild about what is happening with developmentally appropriate information, they will feel more comfortable with discussing this in the future and coming to you with questions.

We hope this information will help you communicate openly and honestly with your grandchild, while strengthening your relationship with one another!

Challenges Facing Grandparents Raising Grandchildren

Grandparents who serve as primary caregivers have a great opportunity to connect with their grandchildren, while providing a loving and stable environment for them to thrive. However, raising children for a second time often presents many challenges as well. In today’s blog, we will be examining the different challenges grandparents who act as primary caregivers face, while also exploring different ways to overcome these challenges.

The transition from sloley being a grandparent to becoming a primary caregiver for your grandchild can be a jarring and unexpected one. When life circumstances change, and you must step in to take care of your grandchildren, you may feel nervous or scared of what this may look like or how you will manage. It is normal to feel this way. Taking on the role of parenting for the second time is a big change filled with lots of responsibility. It is important to acknowledge and honor these feelings. Recognizing your feelings, both positive and negative, can help you process the change you are going through and come to a place of greater acceptance. By exploring and processing your own emotions, you will also be in a better place to help your grandchild process their feelings related to this new transition.  

Another challenge grandparents serving as primary caregivers may face is increased financial responsibility. The truth is, raising kids is expensive, especially if you were not expecting to take on the role of parenting. Some grandparents taking on this new role may have been looking towards retirement or have already retired, making it more challenging to financially support a child. This may mean returning to work or putting off retirement while you raise your grandchild. Although this new life situation comes with increased financial stress, there are resources in our community to help you through this transition, such as the Consumer Credit Counseling Service of Greater Greensboro. We encourage you to reach out to resources such as this one to support you as you take on the role of a primary caregiver for your grandchild.

At times raising children can be really challenging and can leave you feeling physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. This is not any different for grandparents raising grandchildren. The changes brought on through this new transition, as well as the added stress and responsibilities of parenting for a second time, can leave you feeling mentally and emotionally exhausted. It may also be more difficult to keep up with energetic young kids than it once was. It is important to remember that it is okay if you need to take a break or say no to your grandchild. Your health and well-being are just as important as your grandchild, and you deserve to rest when you need it. We encourage you to practice self-care and ask for support from friends and family members when you need a break.

We hope today’s blog has given you more insight into potential ways to navigate the challenges of being a primary caregiver for your grandchild! Stay tuned as we discuss the importance of open and honest communication, creating a stable and supportive environment, respecting your own needs, and reaching out for help, as you navigate this new journey.

Grandparents Raising Grandchildren: Series Introduction

Many grandparents serve as the primary caregivers for their grandchild(ren). When parents are unable to care for their children for a variety of reasons, grandparents are often the ones to step in and take over the role of parenting. According to the Pew Research Center, in 2011, 2.7 million grandparents in the United States lived in the same household and acted as the primary caregiver for a grandchild.

Grandparents who act as primary caregivers face challenges unique to the transition of switching roles and becoming a parental figure for a second time. However, grandparents raising grandchildren also have the unique opportunity to use their wisdom and expertise to care for their grandchildren and develop strong, meaningful relationships. Grandparents have the ability to promote positive growth and development in their grandchildren by providing a safe, nurturing environment, while also feeling a sense of purpose and accomplishment through helping their grandchildren develop into successful individuals.

Throughout the rest of this week, we will be sharing more information about the challenges of grandparents who serve as primary caregivers, as well as tips to help grandparents navigate this new phase of life. We hope this information will help you or a loved one through this transition, while also promoting strong relationships between grandparents and the grandchildren they are raising!

Be Open to Dating

The need for close and intimate relationships with romantic partners doesn’t decrease with age. Getting back into dating can lead to greater connection, intimacy, and support during later life. However, the idea of dating in older adulthood can also be scary and overwhelming, especially if you have lost a partner, so it is important to give yourself the time you need before you begin dating.

Connect With Your Community & Make New Friends

Building friendships and engaging in social activities are important at all life stages and can help you feel more connected and supported. Joining a social group or participating in a hobby are both great ways to meet new people and make friends! By engaging in something you enjoy doing, you can meet people with similar interests and hobbies.

One potential option for connecting with your community and meeting new people is to volunteer. Giving back to your community can give you a sense of purpose, leave you feeling fulfilled, and strengthen your social connections. Another great way to make new connections is to join a senior center in your community. Senior centers have many opportunities to engage in social groups, activities, and hobbies based on your interests. Some options in Guilford County include:

For information about additional resources in Guilford County visit the Senior Resources of Guilford website!

Another way you can maintain a social support network is to reach out and reconnect with old friends. Reaching out to an old friend with whom you’ve lost touch can rekindle your friendship and lead to feelings of connectedness and community. Many times, old friendships can pick up right where they left off, regardless of how much time has gone by. Try reaching out to someone you were once good friends with by giving them a call, sending an email or text, or by inviting them to join you for a meal if they are close by.