Creating a Stable, Supportive Environment

By Eleanor Beeslaar

As you help your grandchild process his/her feelings related to the changes accompanying this new situation, it is crucial to create a stable, supportive environment. With the many changes they are experiencing, stability and structure will help your grandchild feel safe and secure. This will help them heal and will promote positive growth and development.

Here are some tips to help you create an environment that will help your grandchild thrive:

Establish a routine. A routine will create predictability in your grandchild’s life, which can foster feelings of safety, security, and comfort. This might look like set mealtimes and bedtimes, as well as rules that help you grandchild feel more in control during a time that can feel uncertain.

Set clear rules and enforce them consistently. Setting clear rules and enforcing them consistently will enable your grandchild to know what to expect, promoting feelings of safety and security.

Ask for your grandchild’s input. When creating rules and setting routines, allow your grandchild to give their input when appropriate, and encourage them to help you set up their room. This will help them feel like they have some control over the situation and can help them feel more at home.

Give your grandchild your time and attention. By offering your time and attention to your grandchild, you can promote connection and comfort, helping them feel loved and cared for. Not only will this strengthen your relationship, but it will also create consistency and help them navigate this transition successfully.

We hope the tips above will help you deepen your connection with your grandchild, while promoting safety, stability, and support!

Open Communication with Grandchildre

By Eleanor Beeslaar

Encourage open and honest communication with your grandchild. Not only will this help strengthen your relationship, but it will also help your grandchild feel comfortable to talk to you about their feelings and struggles related to this new situation. Your grandchild may have questions, concerns, and complicated feelings about you taking over the role of primary caregiver, and it is important for them to feel like they can come to you for answers and comfort.

Here are some tips to help promote open and honest communication with your grandchild:

Encourage your grandchild to talk about their feelings.
Ask you grandchild questions and check-in when you notice that they seem sad or upset.
Help you grandchild identify their emotions. You can do this by asking questions about what they are feeling.
Plan time to talk with your grandchild. This will ensure that you are both free of distractions and have quality time to connect.

When considering what and/or how much to tell your grandchild about the situation, keep the following in mind. Take your grandchild’s developmental stage into consideration and only tell them as much as they need to know. Telling your grandchild too many details may make it harder for them to understand and lead to them feeling confused and overwhelmed. It is also important to avoid telling your grandchild too little. By talking to your grandchild about what is happening with developmentally appropriate information, they will feel more comfortable with discussing this in the future and coming to you with questions.

We hope this information will help you communicate openly and honestly with your grandchild, while strengthening your relationship with one another!

Challenges Facing Grandparents Raising Grandchildren

Grandparents who serve as primary caregivers have a great opportunity to connect with their grandchildren, while providing a loving and stable environment for them to thrive. However, raising children for a second time often presents many challenges as well. In today’s blog, we will be examining the different challenges grandparents who act as primary caregivers face, while also exploring different ways to overcome these challenges.

The transition from sloley being a grandparent to becoming a primary caregiver for your grandchild can be a jarring and unexpected one. When life circumstances change, and you must step in to take care of your grandchildren, you may feel nervous or scared of what this may look like or how you will manage. It is normal to feel this way. Taking on the role of parenting for the second time is a big change filled with lots of responsibility. It is important to acknowledge and honor these feelings. Recognizing your feelings, both positive and negative, can help you process the change you are going through and come to a place of greater acceptance. By exploring and processing your own emotions, you will also be in a better place to help your grandchild process their feelings related to this new transition.

Another challenge grandparents serving as primary caregivers may face is increased financial responsibility. The truth is, raising kids is expensive, especially if you were not expecting to take on the role of parenting. Some grandparents taking on this new role may have been looking towards retirement or have already retired, making it more challenging to financially support a child. This may mean returning to work or putting off retirement while you raise your grandchild. Although this new life situation comes with increased financial stress, there are resources in our community to help you through this transition, such as the Consumer Credit Counseling Service of Greater Greensboro. We encourage you to reach out to resources such as this one to support you as you take on the role of a primary caregiver for your grandchild.

At times raising children can be really challenging and can leave you feeling physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. This is not any different for grandparents raising grandchildren. The changes brought on through this new transition, as well as the added stress and responsibilities of parenting for a second time, can leave you feeling mentally and emotionally exhausted. It may also be more difficult to keep up with energetic young kids than it once was. It is important to remember that it is okay if you need to take a break or say no to your grandchild. Your health and well-being are just as important as your grandchild, and you deserve to rest when you need it. We encourage you to practice self-care and ask for support from friends and family members when you need a break.

We hope today’s blog has given you more insight into potential ways to navigate the challenges of being a primary caregiver for your grandchild! Stay tuned as we discuss the importance of open and honest communication, creating a stable and supportive environment, respecting your own needs, and reaching out for help, as you navigate this new journey.

Grandparents Raising Grandchildren: Series Introduction

Many grandparents serve as the primary caregivers for their grandchild(ren). When parents are unable to care for their children for a variety of reasons, grandparents are often the ones to step in and take over the role of parenting. According to the Pew Research Center, in 2011, 2.7 million grandparents in the United States lived in the same household and acted as the primary caregiver for a grandchild.

Grandparents who act as primary caregivers face challenges unique to the transition of switching roles and becoming a parental figure for a second time. However, grandparents raising grandchildren also have the unique opportunity to use their wisdom and expertise to care for their grandchildren and develop strong, meaningful relationships. Grandparents have the ability to promote positive growth and development in their grandchildren by providing a safe, nurturing environment, while also feeling a sense of purpose and accomplishment through helping their grandchildren develop into successful individuals.

Throughout the rest of this week, we will be sharing more information about the challenges of grandparents who serve as primary caregivers, as well as tips to help grandparents navigate this new phase of life. We hope this information will help you or a loved one through this transition, while also promoting strong relationships between grandparents and the grandchildren they are raising!

Be Open to Dating

The need for close and intimate relationships with romantic partners doesn’t decrease with age. Getting back into dating can lead to greater connection, intimacy, and support during later life. However, the idea of dating in older adulthood can also be scary and overwhelming, especially if you have lost a partner, so it is important to give yourself the time you need before you begin dating.

Connect With Your Community & Make New Friends

Building friendships and engaging in social activities are important at all life stages and can help you feel more connected and supported. Joining a social group or participating in a hobby are both great ways to meet new people and make friends! By engaging in something you enjoy doing, you can meet people with similar interests and hobbies.

One potential option for connecting with your community and meeting new people is to volunteer. Giving back to your community can give you a sense of purpose, leave you feeling fulfilled, and strengthen your social connections. Another great way to make new connections is to join a senior center in your community. Senior centers have many opportunities to engage in social groups, activities, and hobbies based on your interests. Some options in Guilford County include:

For information about additional resources in Guilford County visit the Senior Resources of Guilford website!

Another way you can maintain a social support network is to reach out and reconnect with old friends. Reaching out to an old friend with whom you’ve lost touch can rekindle your friendship and lead to feelings of connectedness and community. Many times, old friendships can pick up right where they left off, regardless of how much time has gone by. Try reaching out to someone you were once good friends with by giving them a call, sending an email or text, or by inviting them to join you for a meal if they are close by.

Maintaining Healthy Relationships In Older Adulthood

Yesterday was Elder Abuse Awareness Day, and to honor the elders in our community, we will be discussing ways to maintain healthy relationships in older adulthood. Healthy relationships are a significant factor in our overall health and well-being and can lead to better health outcomes and feelings of connection and belonging in older adulthood.

As you age, you may find it more difficult to stay connected and develop deep bonds with other people. This may be due to the loss of a partner or friends, being far away from family, or a number of other factors. Shrinking social circles and a loss of connection can lead to feelings of isolation and lower your physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing. However, there are many steps you can take to develop and maintain healthy relationships and strong ties with your community! By working toward developing these connections and relationships, you can combat loneliness and isolation, and instead promote your health and wellbeing as you age.

Stay tuned throughout the next few days, as we share tips to help you or a loved one maintain healthy relationships in older adulthood!

Keeping Relationships Strong through Life’s Challenging Times

Relationships are a source of joy, meaning, and deep connection; however, they also bring sadness and pain during challenging times. Working through relationship struggles takes time, energy, and commitment. We hope that the series of steps we provided throughout the past week will help you repair your relationship, while also providing you a source of support.

When facing relationship challenges, try your best to remain positive, act with kindness and integrity, and stay calm. We also encourage you to take care of yourself during these moments and to pay close attention to what you need to feel calm and centered.

The information in today’s blog was adapted from one of our earlier series, “In the Midst of Relationship Chaos.” To see the original post, check out the following link: http://www.guilfordhri.org/in-the-midst-of-relationship-chaos-series-conclusion/

Know When to Seek Professional Help

Professional counseling/therapy can be helpful for individuals, couples, and families at any time; however, it is especially important during life’s challenging moments. Professional counselors and therapists are equipped to help you navigate relationship chaos and provide the necessary support during life’s challenges. They can help you process your thoughts and feelings, develop new relationship skills, and gain valuable insights into your situation. These are some signs that it may be time to reach out for professional help:

You and/or the other person feel like you’ve tried everything you can do in your power to solve the situation, but you don’t see any progress.
You’ve noticed unhealthy or unsafe relationship behaviors creeping into your relationship. (Note: Any form of physical, emotional, and/or sexual abuse or violence should be taken very seriously in a relationship. In relationships in which any form of violence is present, couples counseling is not recommended due to safety reasons. Individual counseling can provide support for the victim/survivor, and a domestic violence perpetrator intervention is recommended for anyone who uses abusive behaviors in the context of a relationship.)
You’ve developed mental health symptoms, such as anxiety or depressive symptoms, especially if they become more severe and frequent.
You’re failing to take care of yourself, such as by eating a nutritious diet or getting a healthy amount of sleep.
Thoughts of your relationship problems feel like they’re taking over your mind. You find yourself distracted and unable to focus on your work or other responsibilities.
You feel overwhelmed by the situation and confused about what to do.

As you consider seeking professional help during life struggles and relationship chaos, keep the following affirmation in mind: “It’s a sign of strength to have the courage to seek the help I need.”

Maintaining Healthy Relationships While Caring for a Loved One

New Workshop: Maintaining Healthy Relationships While Caring for a Loved One

We are excited to partner with Well∙Spring Solutions and Hospice and Palliative Care of Greensboro to offer relationship strengthening information and strategies to caregivers! Register for this free event here. If you need care for your loved one during this time, reservations are required by September 25th to April at afranklin@well-spring.org or (336) 274-3559.