Navigating Single Parenting: Series Introduction

Single parenting is becoming more and more common, with 34% of children in the US living in a single parent household in 2017 (KIDS COUNT, 2019). Single parent families are unique and diverse; they may be headed by mothers, fathers, a grandparent, or another family member. Some single parents may be divorced or widowed, while others have never been married or are raising a child on their own by choice. Regardless of how single-parent families look or were formed, they face similar challenges, such as juggling a wide scope of responsibilities, managing family finances, navigating discipline, managing time, and making tough decisions. Many of the challenges that single-parent families face are similar to those of two-parent households; however, they may have to navigate these challenges without the help of a partner or co-parent. 

Whether you are a newly single parent or have been doing things on your own for a while now, there will be moments where you feel overwhelmed or uncertain. This is normal. Parenting is hard work and presents difficult situations for everyone. It’s filled with challenges, surprises, and unexpected moments.

Though parenting can be tough, it is also a beautiful, fulfilling, and joy-filled part of life! As a single parent, you have an opportunity to form a deep and meaningful bond with your kid(s). To all the single parents reading this: you are strong, resilient, and capable of providing a loving, nurturing, supportive, and stable environment for your kids! Throughout the next week, the HRI team will be providing tips to help single parents navigate their parenting journey!

We also encourage you to check out our program on Single Parenthood in our E-learning Center!

References

The Annie E. Casey Foundation. (2019). Children in single-parent families in the United States. Retrieved from https://datacenter.kidscount.org/data/tables/106-children-in-single-parent-families#detailed/1/any/false/871,870,573,869,36,868,867,133,38,35/any/429,430

Celebrate & Cherish Your Engagement

Getting engaged and preparing for marriage can be challenging and stress provoking, especially if you’re busy planning a wedding. Remember to have fun throughout this process! This is an exciting time in your life, and you and your partner deserve to celebrate and cherish it. Not only will this help you strengthen your relationship and build connection in the moment, but it will also help you develop healthy habits as you move into the next stage of your relationship.

Go to Couples Counseling!

A great way to prepare for engagement and marriage is to go to couples counseling beforehand! Seeking help from a mental health professional, such as a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC), Marriage and Family Therapist (MFT/LMFT), Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), etc., can lead to greater insight about your relationship, stronger healthy relationship skills, and strategies to manage challenges in the future. Your therapist or counselor can work with you and your partner to promote positive communication, conflict resolution, and intimacy within your relationship. 

Couples counseling can help you and your partner navigate challenging conversations in a healthy way and get on the same page before engagement and/or marriage! For more information on how to find a couples counselor visit our blog on How to Find a Couples Counselor.

Growing as a Couple

Engagement is a wonderful opportunity for you and your partner to grow as a couple! When you use your engagement to continue to learn more about one another, you are building a stronger connection and preparing for a happy and healthy future!

Use your engagement to celebrate your love for one another and successes as a couple, as well as an opportunity to establish mutual goals for your future together. Though planning for the future and preparing for marriage may involve some ups and downs and difficult conversations, keep in mind that the steps you take toward a healthy relationship now, will benefit you in the future. 

By setting the stage for a growth mindset before marriage, you and your partner will be better equipped to navigate growth and change in the future. You will both continue to evolve as people throughout your marriage, so it is important to continue to be open to change and approach these changes from a place of curiosity and understanding. 

Navigating Finances as a Couple

An important part of getting engaged and preparing for marriage is talking about how you will handle finances as a couple. Studies have shown that money is one of the most common things that couples argue about. We all have beliefs about money and strategies for managing our finances before entering into a relationship, and those beliefs and strategies don’t always align. 

These differing views about money can lead to disagreements and arguments in our relationships, so it is important to make sure we work through our differences before getting engaged. By talking about how you and your partner will approach money and finances in your relationship before getting engaged, you will be more prepared to have tough conversations and handle challenges related to money during marriage. 

Set aside a time to discuss how you and your partner plan on managing money as a couple. Be open and honest about your views on money and be willing to listen to each other’s different approaches for managing finances. Some questions you may ask one another are: What are your financial goals? What does your debt look like and how do we plan on managing this debt as a couple? Do you plan on going back to school? Do you have a budget? If so, what does it look like and how will we adapt our budget to consider both of our financial assets and needs? How do we want to invest and save our money? How will we plan for retirement? Are you going to merge accounts? If so, how and when will you do this?

Use the information you gather during your discussion about money habits to work together as a team to come up with a financial plan that both you and your partner feel comfortable with and confident in. Know that it may take some time to find a plan that works for both of you, and it will likely involve some compromise. It’s also important to keep in mind that this won’t be a one-time thing. Be sure to check-in with your partner about your financial plan throughout your relationship. Things can change over time, and checking-in can help you ensure that you both stay one the same page. 

For more information about how to manage your finances as a couple, check out our Relationship Booster on Couples and Money!