Celebrate & Cherish Your Engagement

Getting engaged and preparing for marriage can be challenging and stress provoking, especially if you’re busy planning a wedding. Remember to have fun throughout this process! This is an exciting time in your life, and you and your partner deserve to celebrate and cherish it. Not only will this help you strengthen your relationship and build connection in the moment, but it will also help you develop healthy habits as you move into the next stage of your relationship.

Go to Couples Counseling!

A great way to prepare for engagement and marriage is to go to couples counseling beforehand! Seeking help from a mental health professional, such as a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC), Marriage and Family Therapist (MFT/LMFT), Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), etc., can lead to greater insight about your relationship, stronger healthy relationship skills, and strategies to manage challenges in the future. Your therapist or counselor can work with you and your partner to promote positive communication, conflict resolution, and intimacy within your relationship. 

Couples counseling can help you and your partner navigate challenging conversations in a healthy way and get on the same page before engagement and/or marriage! For more information on how to find a couples counselor visit our blog on How to Find a Couples Counselor.

Growing as a Couple

Engagement is a wonderful opportunity for you and your partner to grow as a couple! When you use your engagement to continue to learn more about one another, you are building a stronger connection and preparing for a happy and healthy future!

Use your engagement to celebrate your love for one another and successes as a couple, as well as an opportunity to establish mutual goals for your future together. Though planning for the future and preparing for marriage may involve some ups and downs and difficult conversations, keep in mind that the steps you take toward a healthy relationship now, will benefit you in the future. 

By setting the stage for a growth mindset before marriage, you and your partner will be better equipped to navigate growth and change in the future. You will both continue to evolve as people throughout your marriage, so it is important to continue to be open to change and approach these changes from a place of curiosity and understanding. 

Navigating Finances as a Couple

An important part of getting engaged and preparing for marriage is talking about how you will handle finances as a couple. Studies have shown that money is one of the most common things that couples argue about. We all have beliefs about money and strategies for managing our finances before entering into a relationship, and those beliefs and strategies don’t always align. 

These differing views about money can lead to disagreements and arguments in our relationships, so it is important to make sure we work through our differences before getting engaged. By talking about how you and your partner will approach money and finances in your relationship before getting engaged, you will be more prepared to have tough conversations and handle challenges related to money during marriage. 

Set aside a time to discuss how you and your partner plan on managing money as a couple. Be open and honest about your views on money and be willing to listen to each other’s different approaches for managing finances. Some questions you may ask one another are: What are your financial goals? What does your debt look like and how do we plan on managing this debt as a couple? Do you plan on going back to school? Do you have a budget? If so, what does it look like and how will we adapt our budget to consider both of our financial assets and needs? How do we want to invest and save our money? How will we plan for retirement? Are you going to merge accounts? If so, how and when will you do this?

Use the information you gather during your discussion about money habits to work together as a team to come up with a financial plan that both you and your partner feel comfortable with and confident in. Know that it may take some time to find a plan that works for both of you, and it will likely involve some compromise. It’s also important to keep in mind that this won’t be a one-time thing. Be sure to check-in with your partner about your financial plan throughout your relationship. Things can change over time, and checking-in can help you ensure that you both stay one the same page. 

For more information about how to manage your finances as a couple, check out our Relationship Booster on Couples and Money!

Getting on the Same Page Before Marriage

Before making the commitment to get engaged, it’s important for you and your partner to be on the same page! Have an open and honest conversation about what you both want for your relationship in the future. 

Some things you may discuss include:

  • What are your expectations for one another and for the relationship? 
  • Do you want kids? If so, how do you want to raise them? 
  • Where do you want to live? 
  • What are your dreams for the future and how will you support one another in those dreams? 
  • How will you manage your finances? 
  • What does healthy communication and conflict resolution look like in your relationship?
  • How will you handle life challenges? 
  • How will you manage relationships with extended family, especially during moments of conflict?

These are just some questions you may discuss with your partner when deciding if marriage is what you want and if you’re ready to get engaged. Remember, this conversation will look different for every couple, and it won’t just be a one-time thing. It’s important to keep the conversation about the future of your relationship open and ongoing as you and your partner continue to move through life together.

2.6.2020: Lived Experiences Professional Training: Overcoming Domestic Violence

Domestic violence impacts thousands of people in Guilford County each year. The dynamics of abusive relationships are complex, and the process of overcoming past abuse can be both challenging and empowering. Join HRI and the Guilford County Family Justice Center for this opportunity to learn from survivors of past abuse as they share their stories and insights into how professionals can best serve community members who are impacted by current or past abuse.

This event will take place on Thursday, February 6, 2020 from 9-11 AM at the Guilford County Family Justice Center Auditorium (201 S. Greene St, Greensboro, NC 27401. The backup date in the event of inclement weather is Thursday, February 20th from 9-11 AM.

This professional training is part of Guilford County’s Abuse is Never Okay Campaign. To learn more about the collaborative campaign to end violence in Guilford County, please visit www.neverokayguilford.org. Learn more about the Lived Experiences Professional Training seminars at www.guilfordhri.org/livedexperiences.

Light refreshments will be served and advanced registration is required as space is limited. Please direct questions about this event to HRI Program Coordinator, Camila Dos Santos, at c_dossan@uncg.edu.

Click here to register. 

 

Preparing for a Healthy Engagement: Series Intro

You and your partner have been dating for a while and things are starting to get more serious. You’ve been talking about what your future with one another looks like and marriage is in the picture. Maybe you’re thinking about getting engaged now, in the near future, or a bit later down the line. Regardless of what your timeline may look like, it’s important to continue to build and strengthen your relationship both prior to and after you get engaged. 

Engagement is a wonderful opportunity to continue to develop healthy relationship skills and work toward a healthy marriage in the future. Throughout the next several days, HRI will be sharing tips to help you and your partner prepare for a healthy engagement that will strengthen your relationship and lead to a happy and healthy marriage!