Show Appreciation for Your Partner!

 

Showing appreciation is an important part of building healthy relationships and strengthening your connection with your partner! When you notice your partner doing something kind or thoughtful for you, praise them and show gratitude for their efforts. This will communicate to them that you notice the effort they are making to connect with you and strengthen your relationship.

Stay Calm!

Big emotions can be difficult to handle as adults. Now, imagine that you are experiencing really big, challenging emotions and also don’t know how to express or communicate them quite yet. This is often what is going on for young children when they experience temper tantrums or other forms of emotional expression that can be daunting for us as adults to help them manage.

As parents or other important adults in a child’s life, it’s important for us to be a force of calm when kids are experiencing these big emotions. When we show up in a way that is calm and caring, it will be easier for us to help the kids we care about calm down and begin to talk about what is going on. On the flip side, when we respond to children’s big emotions with our own chaos, it’s likely to make the situation worse. Remember, we’re more likely to respond with kindness and compassion when we are able to regulate our own emotions!

We know that it can be hard to keep your composure during difficult parenting moments. For more information about regaining your composure and staying calm during parenting challenges, check out one of our previous blog series!

Validation Promotes Emotional Security

Validation means recognizing and accepting your loved ones’ thoughts, feelings, and experiences. You don’t have to agree or even completely understand where someone is coming from to provide validation. Instead, validation communicates to others, “I see you, hear you, and accept you.” It conveys the powerful message of “I am here for you,” providing emotional security to the other person in the relationship.

Healthy Relationships are Unique

Romantic relationships are exciting and complicated. Just like every person is unique, every relationship has its own quirks and pacing–basically its own life cycle. Maybe your relationship didn’t move through these stages in order, and that’s okay! Some couples become serious as soon as the first date finishes; some stay in the dating phase for years before making any commitments. Some relationships don’t even make it to a defining stage, but that doesn’t make them any less important! 

It’s also okay if a relationship ends. Even years-long relationships can hit insurmountable obstacles, and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean the relationship is unimportant or a failure; sometimes people discover they aren’t compatible as partners, and this can happen at any stage. Be kind to yourself and your partner, even if things don’t work out. Breakups happen, and respect and honesty are just as much a part of a relationship’s end as its beginning!

Healthy Relationships at Different Stages: Long-Term Relationships

Long-term relationships are wonderful; they bring a consistent source of support and affection, and provide a unique form of companionship different from other relationships. They are also a lot of work to maintain. Long-term partners are with us through major changes and life events: new jobs, lost loved ones, major illnesses, the list goes on! These situations bring with them a lot of emotions and changes–permanent and temporary–to the relationship dynamic. It’s important to be able to navigate these big commitments with healthy communication and respect. Now that you’re planning a future together, how are you working to ensure both your needs are met for careers, growth, and life goals? Are you able to navigate arguments with respect and compromise? Health in relationships doesn’t mean never disagreeing, but it does mean being able to discuss disagreements without name-calling, bringing up past arguments, or shutting each other out.

Long-term couples also share big responsibilities with one another. Sharing a house, getting married, or adopting a pet are permanent changes that don’t disappear with the end of a relationship. Have upfront and honest conversations about these commitments, and try to consider every possibility. What if one of you gets a job in a different city–will you keep the house and try long-distance, or move somewhere closer together? Discuss the finer details of the decisions as well: who will do the yard work, how much the dog will cost, how to raise the children. Long-term relationships require work and commitment, but if partners are honest and upfront with each other, they will be able to navigate any challenge with love and respect.

Healthy Relationships at Different Stages: Getting Serious

There comes a point in committed relationships where partners begin to consider their future as a couple. Often referred to as “getting serious,” this can be a period full of exciting firsts! Maybe this is when the first “I love you” is exchanged, or when you first meet each other’s families. This is also when partners begin making big decisions together. Communication is very important here! Things like navigating holiday schedules or traveling together for the first time bring new challenges to the relationship. We may be challenged to show parts of our lives or personalities to our partners that we haven’t before–how does the relationship dynamic hold up when not in “date mode?” Consideration for our partner may also begin to impact the decisions we make for ourselves. Do we take that promotion in a new city or move into that apartment across town when it might affect the relationship? Suddenly,decisions are a process between more than one person!

This is also a time to bring up big issues. Sometimes called “deal-breakers,” these are the things that are non-negotiable for you in a relationship. It’s important to see if you and your partner are on the same page about how you want your lives to look. Maybe one of you really wants kids, and the other really doesn’t. Maybe your political views differ on an issue that makes up a big part of your ethics or identity. As the relationship and your feelings grow more serious, it’s good to get these topics out in the open and determine if you and your partner are compatible. These can be uncomfortable discussions, but it is important to acknowledge, to both yourself and your partner, what you are unwilling to compromise on. Healthy relationships are not about changing each other or putting aside our goals and values. Rather, they are about sharing our life with someone who complements those goals and values. It’s best to determine if that compatibility is there before any major commitments are made.