“To be kind is more important than to be right. Many times, what people need is not a brilliant mind that speaks, but a specialheart that listens.” – unknown
In healthy relationships, kindness and listening are more important than being right. Next time that someone you love talks to you about something you may have disagreed on, give them a listening ear and an open heart, even if you were right about the conflict.
You may find that it’s exactly what your loved one needs in the moment and exactly what is needed to strengthen the relationship.
Developed by HRI Program Coordinator, Camila Dos Santos, M.Ed.
Taking time to have intentional conversations at the dinner table can be an effective way to connect with one another in a natural way. It is human nature to open up more when we are focusing on another task, such as eating, so the dinner table can be a great place to effectively talk about both strengths and issues in relationships or families!
Some questions to help you get the conversation going at dinner can include:
Is there anything you need to talk about today?
What was the best part of your day? The worst?
If you could re-do anything from today, what would it be?
What was something funny that you saw or heard today?
What did you learn today?
Add a little fun to your dinner table discussions by placing a jar at the table and asking each family member to submit 2-3 questions. Then, allow each person to randomly pick a question to answer or ask.
If your family does not typically eat together at the dinner table, you can start by setting a goal to eat together once a week. Once you start to feel the benefits of intentional conversation in a comfortable setting like the dinner table, you may find that you’ll want to do it more often!
Developed by HRI Program Coordinator, Camila Dos Santos, M.Ed.
Having conversations as a family helps to promote open communication amongst all family members, while also helping to build connection and closeness. Parents who model effective communication for their children are more likely to raise young adults who know how to express their emotions and needs in a respectful way.
Today’s conversation starters are helpful for the entire family, especially siblings:
What do you love the most about your sibling?
What is one thing you could each do to make your relationship better?
What types of family conflicts do you think we tend to have?
What three words would you use to describe our family?
Developed by HRI Program Coordinator, Camila Dos Santos, M.Ed.
People in healthy relationships enjoy each other’s company and have fun together. However, sometimes life can get in the way of prioritizing fun and leisure in our partner relationships.
One way to help make sure that you both make time for fun and leisure is to talk about it as a couple!
Today’s conversation starters will get you both talking about how and when to have fun as a couple:
How does your partner add fun to your life?
What fun and leisure activities do you or could you do together?
What is the most fun experience you have shared with your partner?
What can we do during busy times to ensure we are making time for our relationship?
What is your favorite thing to do when you spend time with me?
Developed by HRI Program Coordinator, Camila Dos Santos, M.Ed.
Most relationship experts will agree that healthy relationships are not free of conflict. One of the factors that sets healthy relationships apart from unhealthy ones is how the people in that relationship resolve their conflict. People in healthy relationships will work together and treat the problem as their own, rather than placing blame or not taking accountability for their part in the conflict.
However, conflict resolution is a skill that many of us will spend our lives improving and working on. One way to work on conflict resolution in your relationship is to talk about your conflict resolution style and how you can work together to communicate through issues.
The following questions may spark conversations that help you both reflect on your conflict resolution style and how you can improve together:
What could we do to resolve conflicts more smoothly in our relationship?
What were your parents’ conflicts like?
Do you prefer to resolve conflicts right away, or do you prefer to cool down first? Why?
What is one thing you can do to improve communication in our relationship?
Remember to focus on one question at a time when having these conversations. Talking about multiple issues or concerns at the same time can lead to confusion, conflict, and can stir up many emotions for both partners. You can always revisit this list when you’d like to discuss a different question!
Las relaciones tienen el potencial de ser una fuente de gran gozo y apoyo en nuestras vidas, pero requieren trabajo e intencionalidad para ser sanos, felices, y seguros. Los conjuntos de herramientas de HRI están diseñados para ofrecerle ideas para fortalecer sus relaciones. Esta serie de conjuntos de herramientas se centran en las relaciones de pareja, las familias con niños pequeños, y las relaciones saludables de los adolescentes.
Relationships have the potential to be a source of great joy and support in our lives, but they require work and intentionality in order to be healthy, happy, and safe. HRI Toolkits are designed to offer you a set of tools to strengthen your relationships. This set of toolkits focuses on partner relationships, families with young children, and healthy teenage relationships.
Developed by HRI Program Coordinator, Camila Dos Santos, M.Ed.
Open and transparent communication is crucial to having a healthy relationship, but for many of us, it takes both practice and intentionality to create a trusting space where everyone feels comfortable sharing their thoughts, feelings, and fears without judgment.
Through HRI, we have developed a number of resources to help aid communication in relationships of all kinds. In this week’s series, we will focus on our conversation starters, or questions, that are designed to help you connect, reflect, and communicate about the things that are important to you and your partner. In fact, many of the conversation starters we share can also prove useful for other types of relationships as well.
Our challenge for you this week is to pick a couple of the conversation starters we share and spend at least 10 minutes discussing with your partner or loved one. A couple of important tips before you start the conversation:
Set aside time so that your conversation does not feel rushed.
Have your conversation in private places that you both feel comfortable in.
Commit to active listening – instead of thinking about what you are going to say next while your partner is speaking, make it a point to intentionally listen to what they say, and to pause before responding.
Be open to disagreements. Healthy relationships are not without conflict! Rather, healthy relationships handle conflict together through communication and listening.
As much as this conversation will teach you a lot about your partner, remember that it can teach you about yourself too, and to use what you learn to self-reflect on your role in the relationship.
Commit to kindness and respect with your partner – not only in this conversation, but in all!
Even if it feels strange at first, you may be surprised to learn something new about yourself or your partner! You also may find that you feel more connected and in tune with each other after this activity!
Developed by HRI Program Coordinator, Camila Dos Santos, M.Ed.
It’s no secret that boundaries between work and life are blended in a pandemic world. Our days off are perhaps more important now than they ever were before.
When we don’t take our days off seriously, we can find ourselves allowing busyness as a distraction from our own needs. Eventually, emotion overload and extreme stress can occur and impact several aspects of life.
Recovery is important, so be sure to take your days off and do something to re-energize your body and mind! It can benefit many parts of your life in positive ways!
Some ideas include going on a short road trip with a loved one or taking an exercise class. Reading a book, going for a walk, or connecting with a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while are other ways to feel as if your day off is truly a day off.
