Introducing HRI’s 2018 Kindness Champions

Today, HRI is celebrating Random Acts of Kindness Day as part of Healthy Relationships Week, and we are thrilled to announce our 2018 HRI Kindness Champions. We asked community members to nominate people who they know in Guilford County who are superstars at showing kindness, and we think you’ll agree that the people who were selected as Kindness Champions fit the bill!

Read on to learn about these Kindness Champions—listed in alphabetical order—and the many great ways that they help to spread kindness in our community.

 

Felicia Bratton (Nominated by LouMecia Staton)

Felicia Bratton is the Finance Manager at the Partnership for Children of Guilford County. Her colleague, LouMecia Staton, shared why Felicia is a Kindness Champion in the following way: “Not only does Felicia bring such wonderful expertise and knowledge to the finance field, but she also brings her heart of gold and compassion. Felicia is always thinking of ways to empower and encourage our staff and provides love and support through her community involvement and endeavors. She is the mother to two beautiful daughters and loves them with a sweet and beautiful love. She constantly thinks of the well-being and comfort of others before herself and has demonstrated this as both a colleague and a friend. It is often times that those who are overlooked provide the best kindness in this world.”

 

Sonya Desai (Nominated by Catherine Johnson)

Sonya Desai is the Client Services Coordinator at the Guilford County Family Justice Center in Greensboro. Sonya is known for her quiet determination to do all she can to help others. Catherine Johnson, who nominated Sonya, had this to say: “I have had the privilege of working with Sonya over the last three years.  Time and time again, she demonstrates compassion for those who are hurting. Her generosity and giving heart is extended to all, including clients seeking services from the FJC, professionals throughout the community, friends, family, and even strangers. Sonya is also a master at building community. She is so well respected and connected that she can bring folks together from all different walks of life for the greater good. For example, she orchestrated a group of nearly 15 to travel to Philadelphia to participate in a race in remembrance of a dear friend and community leader. When I think of good, I think of Sonya, and that is why I think she is the kindest person I know in Guilford County.” Sonya shared this picture with us and said the following: “I chose this photo for a reason as it is a picture of my friends who ran Philadelphia with me in order to honor and remember a friend who left this world too soon. It has become apparent to me that our ability to be kind and seek goodness in the world is influenced by those who surround us.”

 

Michael Person (Nominated by Yubisela Aranda Sandoval and Amber Robinson)

Michael is the Director of the Weaver House at Urban Ministry. His nominators spoke highly of how he treats others with kindness. Yubisela Sandoval said, “Since I met Michael, I have seen him advocate tirelessly for many individuals no matter their background. He goes above and beyond for every single one of his clients treating them with dignity, respect. Having someone like Michael who is selfless and always looks out for others makes our city of Greensboro a gem.” Amber Robinson added that Michael “is a Kindness Champion because he goes above and beyond to treat the underserved, disenfranchised and disadvantage with dignity and humanity. When everyone else treats them less than, he ensures that he restores their esteem and patiently gives them a voice. He also gives the homeless population that he serves a standard, accountability, as well as the benefit of the doubt when mistakes are made. While working long hours at low pay, he still finds time to help friends move, emergency dog sit, and visit regularly a friend that was recently diagnosed with cancer all while studying for an exam, making home improvements, and writing a book. He’s not perfect, he just strives to be of service and stay in productive motion.”

 

Anthony and Nancy Woodyard (Nominated by Sarah Pritchard)

Anthony and Nancy Woodyard were nominated as kindness champions by the Family Support Network of Central Carolina. Sarah Pritchard shard the story of their kindness as follows: “We were connected with Nancy and Anthony over ten years ago when their daughter, Tessa, was in the NICU at Women’s Hospital. Unfortunately, Tessa never got to leave the unit – but her story did not die there thanks to her loving parents.

“This amazing couple wanted to honor their daughter’s memory in a way that would touch hundreds of other little lives in our community and so FSNCC’s ‘Adopt-A-Frog’ program was born. The Woodyards knew how much Tessa loved her ‘frog’ that she received while she was in the NICU; Frogs are bean bag positioning aids that provide comfort to little ones in the isolette. Thanks to the Woodyards and our generous donors, now any baby in the NICU at Women’s Hospital can receive a frog. In addition to this gesture, the Woodyards have donated and hosted countless blood drives throughout the community in Tessa’s memory. They continue to be loyal volunteers in many programs and activities at Family Support Network. The Woodyards choose to lead a life full of love and kindness every day, making them both champions in our eyes.”

Valentine’s Eve Celebration of the Family

By Christine Murray, HRI Director

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day! If you have a sweetheart, you may be spending time today planning how you’re going to celebrate them tomorrow. Flowers, chocolate, a special dinner out on the town…all of these can be part of a special Valentine’s Day celebration of romance. With all of the focus tomorrow on romance, our HRI team wants to encourage you today to focus on celebrating the family, and especially the children in your life.

People have differing views of Valentine’s Day. Some view it as an artificial holiday that was manufactured by greeting card companies, while other people view it as an important and meaningful celebration of their relationship with their partner. Even if you aren’t a total fan of Valentine’s Day, we invite you to view a Valentine’s Eve Celebration of the Family as an opportunity to role model an important part of healthy relationships for your children: taking extra steps to help your loved ones feel cared for! Of course, this is an important relationship skill every day, but Valentine’s Day offers you a unique opportunity to model it for your children because they’re likely already seeing and hearing a lot about relationships this week.

The skills and characteristics of relationships that your children see and experience during their early years can have a powerful impact on their relationships later in life. Your relationships with them, your partner, friends, other family members, and others are perhaps the most powerful way that your children will learn about relationships. If they experience unhealthy relationship patterns, they may come to view those patterns as normal. On the other hand, if they observe and experience healthy relationships, they will learn how to build and maintain strong, happy relationships throughout their lives.

Let’s say you aren’t a big proponent of Valentine’s Day…Even if this is the case, role modeling treating others (including your children and your partner) in a special way on Valentine’s Day can help teach them to care for others in the ways that are most meaningful for them. If you’re familiar with the widely popular book, The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman, then you know that people vary in the ways they express and receive love that are the most meaningful to them. Even if doing something to celebrate Valentine’s Day isn’t your cup of tea, it may mean a lot to your partner. Sometimes, making your partner feel loved and cared for means doing things that resonate with them, even if they don’t make sense to you!

To help you celebrate your family on Valentine’s Eve today, we’re excited to announce the release HRI’s free, new board game, Together Time! Our HRI team developed this game to offer families an opportunity to connect and learn more about each other through playing the game. Everything you need to play Together Time can be downloaded for free at the following web-site: http://www.guilfordhri.org/togethertimegame. We hope this will be a fun way to spend time together as you celebrate Valentine’s Eve as a family!

What if board games aren’t your thing, or if you’d like to do the game and something else to celebrate Valentine’s Eve? We’ve got several other ideas to share for how to make today special:

We hope we’ve given you some ideas to make today an extra-special celebration of your family! Even just a few small, simple steps to celebrate today can help your children see the value in celebrating the important people in their lives–on Valentine’s Day and every day!

How Do You Know When You Need Professional Help?

How do you know when you need professional help? People often struggle to know when is the right time to reach out for professional help when they’re experiencing a relationship or family challenge. The truth is, there is no clear cut answer, as every situation is unique. However, some signs that might indicate that it would be a good time to reach out for help are as follows:

  • You’ve tried to manage the problem on your own, but you haven’t been able to make much progress even after trying for a certain period of time (e.g., one month).
  • The problem seems to be getting worse.
  • In addition to the original problem, other secondary problems are beginning to arise related to the original problem, such as additional conflict, financial distress, or mental health symptoms.
  • You and another person have completely different perspectives on an issue and are unable to reach middle ground, and/or it seems you are unable to understand one another.
  • The problem is causing you a lot of distress and/or starting to impact your or another person’s functioning in different areas of life (e.g., school or work).

Even if you’re facing a relationship or family problem that hasn’t reach any of the levels described above, you can still reach out for professional help to guide you through more minor challenges. Professionals are trained to work with people facing all kinds of relationship and family challenges, and they can help you navigate the challenge and more toward building positive solutions to strengthen your relationships.

Keep Searching for the Right Source of Support

You may have to try a few times to find the right source of help, but don’t give up! Sometimes, people reach out for help for relationship and family problems, and if they don’t find the “perfect” source of help on their first try, they give up. For example, someone may seek family counseling, but they don’t connect with the first counselor they see, and then they become discouraged and give up. But, keep in mind that it can take time to find the right professional to help. Family counselors and other professionals who support relationships and families are all unique, so keep searching until you find a source of help that feels right to you.

A Part of Life

If you were sick or injured, you’d likely seek help from a medical doctor. If you had a problem with your house, such as a leaking pipe or a broken door, you’d call the appropriate service professional. If your car’s engine were breaking down, you’d take it to the mechanic. Many people who are perfectly comfortable seeking professional help for other problems are still hesitant to reach out for help for problems in their relationships or families. But, just as physical sickness, home repairs, and car problems are a part of life, so too are relationship challenges! So, seeking help for relationship and family challenges should have not more stigma attached than calling a doctor, plumber, or car shop. Professionals can help people through the challenges they face in all areas of life, and relationships and families should be no different!

Life Transitions

Life transitions can be especially challenging for relationships and families. You may have been doing great in your relationship or family, but then you started going through a major life transition–such as having a child, moving forward to a new level of commitment in your relationship, starting a new career path, or retirement. It’s completely normal to have a hard adjusting to a new phase of life! These are great times to reach out for help, such as counseling or a relationship education program. You can learn new tools and information to help you have a smooth transition to your new life circumstances.

#FindHelpFriday: NC 2-1-1

 

By Crystal Broadnax, MS, Community Impact Manager for Health and Basic Needs at United Way of Greater Greensboro

Are you, a friend, or a loved one in need of assistance and don’t know who to call? No matter where you live in NC, you can call 2-1-1 and a compassionate, trained NC 2-1-1 call specialist will help you to find available human services resources in your community.

NC 2-1-1 is an information and referral service provided by United Way of North Carolina and supported by local United Ways and public and private partners across NC. The service is available in all 100 NC counties. Accessible via an easy-to-remember, three-digit number, families and individuals can call to obtain information on health and human services and resources within their community. The service is free, confidential, and available in most languages.

Simply dial 2-1-1 from any phone 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year to reach a      trained, compassionate call specialist. You can find help from more than 18,000 resources in North Carolina that offer:

  • food, housing, and utilities assistance
  • child care and youth programs
  • financial education and counseling
  • job training
  • access to health care, support groups, individual counseling, mental health and substance abuse services
  • senior services
  • disaster services and much more!

Are you comfortable using the computer and prefer to search for results online? The online database at nc211.org is the same database used by the call specialists. However, our call specialists are trained to search using specific keywords which may provide additional resources. If you don’t find what you need online, we strongly encourage you to dial 2-1-1. Call specialists are available 24/7/365 to help.

Useful Tips:

  • Have a pen and paper ready when you call
  • Take your time and tell the call specialist exactly what you need
  • Follow up with each of the resources provided. If you don’t get what you need from the first, be sure to call the others
  • Tell someone else about your experience

NC 2-1-1 is an important service to help our neighbors find help when they need it most. 2-1-1 can provide information to individuals who are facing unemployment, or direct people in need to lesser known resources, taking pressure off front line agencies. In times of natural disasters, 2-1-1 has proven itself invaluable in taking call volume off the 9-1-1 system for assistance needs that are not immediate emergencies. Make 2-1-1 the the number you call, when you don’t know exactly where to turn. We can help!

The Courage to Ask: Series Introduction

By Christine Murray, HRI Director

Can you guess how long the average couple waits from the start of having problems in their relationship to deciding to seek counseling? According to decades of research by noted marriage researcher, Dr. John Gottman, the answer is six years. Six years! Take a moment to let that sink in.

Think how deeply problems have become entrenched in couples’ relationships when they wait this long to seek help. It may not be impossible to turn things around after problems have been around for that long, but it certainly can feel impossible at that point!

Our mission at HRI is to promote happy, healthy, and safe relationships of all kinds and to prevent the negative consequences of relationship distress. One of the major barriers that can get in the way of happy, healthy, and safe relationships is the stigma that surrounds problems in relationships and families. This stigma can make people feel like there is something wrong with them if they face problems in their relationships, as well as that they should be embarrassed if they need to seek help.

At HRI, we’re passionate about ending this stigma and breaking down the barriers to seeking help for relationship and family problem. Of course, there are other barriers to seeking help beyond the stigma, such as financial barriers, transportation, language and cultural concerns, child care needs, and a lack of needed resources in the community.

We are also doing what we can to work with our community partners to continue to address those other barriers as well, but in the meantime, we are also working hard to end this stigma. The stigma surrounding reaching out for help for relationship problems keeps many people suffering in situations that could be improved with the proper support and resources. And, it can contribute to problems becoming much worse than they need to be because they aren’t addressed as early as possible.

While happy, healthy, and safe relationships are our end goal, we know that building and sustaining this kind of relationship takes a lot of work. It’s normal and expected that relationship problems will arise. That’s why our subtitle for our Courage to Ask campaign is, “Relationships are hard. Getting help doesn’t have to be.”

In the coming days, we’ll be sharing some additional tips and points about seeking help for relationship and family problems. In addition, our #FindHelpFridays series is an ongoing resource to promote the accessibility of local resources that support relationships and families locally. In this series, we feature local organizations to help community members get to know more about them and to hear from some of their team members.

It takes courage to ask for help for relationship and family problems in a culture in which there’s pressure to look like we’ve all got everything together. We hope that this series, “The Courage to Ask,” will help each of you think through how you can help to break down this stigma and make it more likely that you and the people you care about will reach out for help when relationship and family challenges arise.