An important part of promoting stability and structure during the big transition of forming a blended family, is to continue to engage in positive co-parenting with your ex-partner if they are a part of you and your children’s lives. Your child still has a relationship with your ex-partner, so it is important to try your best to be positive and supportive of their relationship. This includes making an effort to co-parent with your ex-partner. This may not always be easy, and it doesn’t mean that you need to be best friends with your ex. However, it does mean that you and your ex need to try your best to continue to provide consistency and stability for your child. This may look like communicating regularly about schedules, rules, and discipline to ensure that your child is not receiving mixed messages.
Part of positive co-parenting with ex-partners in a blended family means that it is important for new partners and ex-partners to try their best to form good co-parenting relationships! When you, your ex, your new partner, and possibly your ex’s new partner are all able to get along and work together to parent collaboratively, your kids will feel more supported and confident that they can trust the adults in their lives. This will also help you kids feel loved, valued, and secure as their family adapts and changes, providing a sense of stability during what may often feel like an uncertain time.
Know that effective and positive co-parenting with your ex-partner likely won’t happen overnight. It will take some time to learn how to work together in this new context, so try your best to be patient!