It is normal to feel alone during times of relationship chaos and life struggles, especially when the other person in the relationship is a significant source of support and someone who you care deeply about. When your connection with that person isn’t as strong and the relationship feels fragile, it may be difficult to know where to go for support.

However, it is important to keep in mind that reaching out for support from friends and family members is a key step in navigating life’s challenges and relationship chaos. The following affirmation can serve to remind you that asking for help is okay and often times necessary for healing: “People who care about me would want to help me get through this.”

Before reaching out for help, it’s important to take some time to think about what would be most beneficial for you during these challenging times. Consider who would be most helpful to you and think about any negative consequences of involving others in your relationship problems. It’s also important to evaluate your intentions for seeking help and ensure that you are reaching out for the right reasons, such as support and guidance, instead of looking for someone to take your side and turn against the other person. When thinking about who you can reach out to for help consider qualities such as honesty, trustworthiness, integrity, respect, and compassion.

The following questions can help you determine who would be best equipped to provide support and guidance as you face relationship challenges:

  1. Would this person have my best interests at heart?
  2. Will this person offer be objective, reasonable advice, even if that means possibly telling me about things they think I’m doing that might be contributing to the situation?
  3. Does this person know enough about my history to understand why I think and feel the way I do?
  4. Is this person a good listener?
  5. Can I trust this person not to tell the details of my problems to other people?

Once you have identified someone who you can answer “yes” to the questions above, consider how you will reach out to them for help. Having someone who you can trust to support you, while also giving you honest feedback can bring feelings comfort during these challenging times.


The information in today’s blog was adapted from one of our earlier series, “In the Midst of Relationship Chaos.” To see the original post, check out the following link:

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