When chaos erupts in our relationships, we often have little control over the things happening around us, such as the choices another person is making, how quickly things can change, and external circumstances that are outside of our control. 

Although we may not have any ability to control these things, what we can manage is our responses to the challenges we face. A good question to ask yourself in the midst of a chaotic relationship situation is, “What can I do to take care of myself in this situation?” 

For example, you may not be able to change how the other person is treating you, but you can make a choice about how you will respond. When you’re faced with a relationship situation that feels out of control, focusing on yourself and processing your own emotions and needs can help you identify potential steps you can take toward creating positive movement in the situation.

Adapted from previous HRI blog post.