By Eleanor Beeslaar
Boundaries are an important part of healthy relationships. They allow you to feel safe, comfortable, and valued within your relationship and ensure that both you and your partner’s wants, needs, fears, and limits are respected. Talk to your partner about each other’s boundaries to make sure that you both feel safe and comfortable within the relationship. Remember, this is an ongoing conversation, and it is important to keep communicating with your partner as your boundaries change and develop. Just because you were okay with something at the beginning of your relationship, does not mean that you can change your mind about it later on.
Here are some great tips and guidelines to help you set up boundaries within your relationship:
- Before talking to your partner about boundaries, take some time to reflect on what you want and need to feel safe and respected within your relationship. Then, when you are ready, communicate these with your partner.
- Listen openly to what your partner needs from you and be respectful of his/her boundaries.
- It is important to respect one another’s independence and allow for time apart. You and your partner should be allowed to spend time with friends and family and engage in activities you enjoy by yourselves.
- Don’t rush into getting physical with your partner before you are ready. It’s okay to take things at your own pace. Set up boundaries about how far each of you wants to go and communicate if anything changes.
- With technology playing an increasingly bigger role in relationships, it is important to set up digital boundaries. Consider keeping your passwords private even if you trust your partner. By making sure that your passwords are only something you know, you can keep control of your information.
- It is also important to set boundaries about what you are okay with sending through text messages or social media private messaging, because once you send an image or message, you no longer have control over who can access it. If your partner sexts you and/or demands that you sext them, you should be able to tell them that you aren’t comfortable with it without them getting angry or upset with you.
We encourage you to think about the boundaries in your relationship and talk to your partner about what you both need to feel safe and respected. It’s never too late to set up boundaries or to make changes to the ones you already have in place!
The information in this post was adapted from loveisrespect.org. Visit https://www.loveisrespect.org/healthy-relationships/setting-boundaries/ for more information.
Loveisrespect.org (2017). Setting Boundaries in a Relationship. Retrieved from