Supporting Older Adults During the Holidays: Tip 6

Written by Camila Dos Santos, Program Coordinator of the Healthy Relationships Initiative & Heather Magill, Elder Justice Specialist Coordinator at the Guilford County Family Justice Center

Elder abuse is intentional mistreatment or neglect that causes harm to an older person. Elder abuse takes many forms, including: neglect, physical abuse, sexual abuse, financial exploitation, or psychological abuse.  Read more about abuse on the Guilford County Abuse is Never Okay campaign website here.

While anyone in an older adult’s life can potentially be a perpetrator of elder abuse, in almost 60% of elder abuse cases, the person is a family member and in almost ⅔ of cases, they are an adult child or spouse. Read more on elder abuse facts here. 

Being vigilant of the signs of elder abuse can help you keep your loved ones safe this holiday season. 

Physical abuse: Signs of physical abuse to older adults can include bruises, pressure marks, broken bones, abrasions, and burns. 

Emotional abuse: Signs of emotional abuse can include unexplained withdrawal, sudden changes in alertness, depression, strained/tense relationships, and frequent arguments between the caregiver and the older adults. 

Financial abuse: Sudden changes in their financial situation are a sign that a loved one may be experiencing financial abuse. Making changes to bank accounts, applying for new loans, and moving money around can be additional indicators that financial abuse is occurring. 

Neglect: Bedsores, unattended medical needs, poor hygiene, and unusual weight loss can be indicators of neglect. 

Verbal or emotional abuse:  Belitting, threats, or other uses of power and control by individuals are examples of verbal or emotional abuse that can occur. 

While there are many different indicators of elder abuse, it’s also important to keep lines of communication open. This can help older adults feel comfortable sharing any experiences or concerns without fear or repercussions or judgment. 

Being aware of the signs of elder abuse can help you keep loved ones safe while enjoying their company this holiday season. 

Supporting Older Adults During the Holidays: Tip 5

Written by Camila Dos Santos, Program Coordinator of the Healthy Relationships Initiative & Heather Magill, Elder Justice Specialist Coordinator at the Guilford County Family Justice Center

Checking in regularly with the older adults in your life shows them that you care about their wellbeing. It also helps them feel more safe and secure because they know someone is regularly looking out for them in the event that something happens, and they need help. This kind of security can help older adults fight off feelings of loneliness during the holidays. 

As older adults face the holidays during the pandemic, spending time with loved ones becomes even more valuable, even if that time is spent virtually.  This year, focus your energy on giving the gift of time to the older adults in your life.  Make time for an intentional phone call.  Send a holiday card through snail mail.  Record a video for the older adult in your life and send it. Schedule a socially distant walk or front porch visit. 

Whatever it is, this year, give the older adults in your life the gift of time.

Supporting Older Adults During the Holidays: Tip 4

Written by Camila Dos Santos, Program Coordinator of the Healthy Relationships Initiative & Heather Magill, Elder Justice Specialist Coordinator at the Guilford County Family Justice Center

Older adults can experience the negative consequences of feelings of loneliness and isolation at any point in the year, but during the holidays, it becomes especially important for loved ones to be aware of the signs that an older adult may not be coping well with the holiday season. 

When someone is experiencing negative feelings, such as sadness, isolation, and/or loneliness, there sometimes are physical symptoms of their emotions.  Being aware of these signs can help loved ones recognize a problem early on and find ways to intervene in a healthy and supportive way. 

Some signs that an older adult in your life is not coping well with loneliness can include increased feelings of restlessness or anxiousness, body aches and pains, getting sick more frequently, and expressing feelings of self-doubt or hopelessness. 

Other signs can include withdrawing from loved ones, extreme amounts of time spent digesting media, such as binge-watching TV shows, decreased appetite, and problems sleeping or falling asleep (read more here). 

Check out this article for more warning signs of loneliness in seniors.

Supporting Older Adults During the Holidays: Tip 3

Written by Camila Dos Santos, Program Coordinator of the Healthy Relationships Initiative & Heather Magill, Elder Justice Specialist Coordinator at the Guilford County Family Justice Center

The holiday season is the prime time for scammers to take advantage of your generosity and giving spirit. The isolation created by COVID-19 makes us all more vulnerable to frauds and scams. Make sure to take time to talk with your loved ones about recognizing and avoiding scams. Below are some of the most common Holiday scams including tips to avoid them. 

1. Charity Scams – Be cautious of pushy telemarketers, emails, fake websites, and individuals approaching you in stores or parking lots requesting charitable donations. Take time to research and validate organizations before making a donation. Never give someone your checking account information. Charities can be verified with the NC Secretary of State at www.sosnc.gov. 
2. Online Shopping – It is expected that more online shopping will take place this Holiday season with restrictions in place due to COVID-19 and concerns for mass gatherings. Scammers are proficient in spoofing websites, e-mails, and coupon offers. When purchasing gifts online this year, consider using well known websites and being careful when clicking on offers in e-mails or coupon pop-ups. If you see an item that you are interested in, consider looking up the website yourself in lieu of clicking short-cut links. Ordering items from spoofed websites can lead to stolen credit card and bank information. 

Grandparent Scam – Although this scam has been around for a while, it is still popular and continues to morph into different scenarios. These scammers target older adults and they have often been able to obtain a name of a grandchild. If you get a call stating the caller is your grandchild or someone calling on behalf of your grandchild stating they are in jail, stuck overseas, or in another urgent situation that requires you to wire or mail funds, ask questions only your grandchild could answer or hang up try making contact with your grandchild directly. This scam plays on your emotions and attempts to make you give funds immediately.

Being aware of holiday scams that target older adults can help you keep them safe during the holidays.

Supporting Older Adults During the Holidays: Tip 2

Written by Camila Dos Santos, Program Coordinator of the Healthy Relationships Initiative & Heather Magill, Elder Justice Specialist Coordinator at the Guilford County Family Justice Center

As we approach the holidays, it seems like many are struggling with helping their loved ones feel connected, while also keeping them safe in light of the pandemic.  This year, especially, it’s important to get creative about how you’ll celebrate the holidays with the older adults in your life. 

In addition to making sure the older adults in your life can stay connected using technology, it’s important to find ways to make those connections meaningful throughout the holidays.  Starting new traditions, such as re-imagining family gatherings and what they look like, can help everyone feel included in the season even if they are not physically present.  

Rethinking how you gift the older adults in your life can also provide opportunities to make them feel special, especially if the pandemic is impacting their holiday travel.  This year, consider the idea of gift-giving as an experience. Sometimes, it can be much more meaningful to take a socially distant walk through the park, or to have a picnic with loved ones, rather than to give someone an item for the holidays. 

Another idea can be to make the act of gift-giving a fun activity, such as by having each child in the family create their own video for an older adult, or by encouraging playing online games together as a way to connect.

This article provides more useful tips for caregivers to plan ahead during this holiday season. 

Supporting Older Adults During the Holidays: Tip 1

Written by Camila Dos Santos, Program Coordinator of the Healthy Relationships Initiative & Heather Magill, Elder Justice Specialist Coordinator at the Guilford County Family Justice Center

The holidays can be a difficult time for many older adults. The holiday season, especially in the midst of a global pandemic,  can bring about feelings of loneliness, isolation, and fear.  It’s important for all of us, but especially, older adults,  to not only cope with negative emotions, but also to safely connect with others in meaningful ways. This week, the Healthy Relationships Initiative is partnering with the Guilford County Family Justice Center to provide you with tips to support older adults during the holidays. 

For many older adults, the holidays mean spending time with the family – enjoying children, grandchildren, and many others.  But as holiday plans shift and change in the pandemic, other relationships, such as friendships and extended family, can be a source of great joy and connection during the holiday season. 

Older adults who may not be spending the holidays with family members may want to find ways to connect with people outside of their family, such as old friends from previous jobs, neighborhoods, or faith institutions.  Sending a letter, making a phone call, or scheduling a holiday Zoom get-together can offer opportunities for connection and bonding during a time when older adults may miss holiday gatherings and family meet-ups.