Navigating Finances as a Couple

An important part of getting engaged and preparing for marriage is talking about how you will handle finances as a couple. Studies have shown that money is one of the most common things that couples argue about. We all have beliefs about money and strategies for managing our finances before entering into a relationship, and those beliefs and strategies don’t always align. 

These differing views about money can lead to disagreements and arguments in our relationships, so it is important to make sure we work through our differences before getting engaged. By talking about how you and your partner will approach money and finances in your relationship before getting engaged, you will be more prepared to have tough conversations and handle challenges related to money during marriage. 

Set aside a time to discuss how you and your partner plan on managing money as a couple. Be open and honest about your views on money and be willing to listen to each other’s different approaches for managing finances. Some questions you may ask one another are: What are your financial goals? What does your debt look like and how do we plan on managing this debt as a couple? Do you plan on going back to school? Do you have a budget? If so, what does it look like and how will we adapt our budget to consider both of our financial assets and needs? How do we want to invest and save our money? How will we plan for retirement? Are you going to merge accounts? If so, how and when will you do this?

Use the information you gather during your discussion about money habits to work together as a team to come up with a financial plan that both you and your partner feel comfortable with and confident in. Know that it may take some time to find a plan that works for both of you, and it will likely involve some compromise. It’s also important to keep in mind that this won’t be a one-time thing. Be sure to check-in with your partner about your financial plan throughout your relationship. Things can change over time, and checking-in can help you ensure that you both stay one the same page. 

For more information about how to manage your finances as a couple, check out our Relationship Booster on Couples and Money!

Getting on the Same Page Before Marriage

Before making the commitment to get engaged, it’s important for you and your partner to be on the same page! Have an open and honest conversation about what you both want for your relationship in the future. 

Some things you may discuss include:

  • What are your expectations for one another and for the relationship? 
  • Do you want kids? If so, how do you want to raise them? 
  • Where do you want to live? 
  • What are your dreams for the future and how will you support one another in those dreams? 
  • How will you manage your finances? 
  • What does healthy communication and conflict resolution look like in your relationship?
  • How will you handle life challenges? 
  • How will you manage relationships with extended family, especially during moments of conflict?

These are just some questions you may discuss with your partner when deciding if marriage is what you want and if you’re ready to get engaged. Remember, this conversation will look different for every couple, and it won’t just be a one-time thing. It’s important to keep the conversation about the future of your relationship open and ongoing as you and your partner continue to move through life together.

2.6.2020: Lived Experiences Professional Training: Overcoming Domestic Violence

Domestic violence impacts thousands of people in Guilford County each year. The dynamics of abusive relationships are complex, and the process of overcoming past abuse can be both challenging and empowering. Join HRI and the Guilford County Family Justice Center for this opportunity to learn from survivors of past abuse as they share their stories and insights into how professionals can best serve community members who are impacted by current or past abuse.

This event will take place on Thursday, February 6, 2020 from 9-11 AM at the Guilford County Family Justice Center Auditorium (201 S. Greene St, Greensboro, NC 27401. The backup date in the event of inclement weather is Thursday, February 20th from 9-11 AM.

This professional training is part of Guilford County’s Abuse is Never Okay Campaign. To learn more about the collaborative campaign to end violence in Guilford County, please visit www.neverokayguilford.org. Learn more about the Lived Experiences Professional Training seminars at www.guilfordhri.org/livedexperiences.

Light refreshments will be served and advanced registration is required as space is limited. Please direct questions about this event to HRI Program Coordinator, Camila Dos Santos, at c_dossan@uncg.edu.

Click here to register. 

 

Preparing for a Healthy Engagement: Series Intro

You and your partner have been dating for a while and things are starting to get more serious. You’ve been talking about what your future with one another looks like and marriage is in the picture. Maybe you’re thinking about getting engaged now, in the near future, or a bit later down the line. Regardless of what your timeline may look like, it’s important to continue to build and strengthen your relationship both prior to and after you get engaged. 

Engagement is a wonderful opportunity to continue to develop healthy relationship skills and work toward a healthy marriage in the future. Throughout the next several days, HRI will be sharing tips to help you and your partner prepare for a healthy engagement that will strengthen your relationship and lead to a happy and healthy marriage!

Recovering from DV: Patience & Grace

By Eleanor Beeslaar

Recovering from abuse and trauma takes time. Healing is not an overnight process, and it is filled with ups and downs. If you notice yourself having a bad day or are feeling stuck, try your best to refrain from negative self-judgements. Be kind to yourself. You deserve grace and patience. 

Every survivor has their own timeline for recovery. Know that it’s okay to take your time and every victory, no matter how big or small, is a step towards growth, progress, and healing. You have already come so far, and your strength and courage will continue to carry you forward as you move through your process of recovery.

An important piece of giving yourself grace and patience is engaging in self-care. Take time out of your day to take care of yourself. Reflect on the things that bring you joy and nourish your soul. Some examples of self-care include reading books or engaging in quiet reflection, going on a walk, exercising, talking to friends, or listening to music. Remember, self-care looks different for everyone and is unique to each person’s circumstances, interests, and needs. Find what works best for you!