HRI Blog

It’s an inevitable question in any romantic relationship: “What are we?” Defining the relationship can look like different things to different people. Maybe it’s becoming monogamous as a couple, using labels like “girlfriend” and “boyfriend,” or beginning to think of the relationship in the long term. Identifying what it means to each partner is a major step, and one that can be fraught with awkwardness and anxiety. It’s also the first point where many couples really test their ability to communicate. Communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. Defining the relationship presents a space for partners to express what they want and need from a partnership. Are they on the same page, or is one partner looking for a long-term commitment while the other isn’t? Healthily handling these conversations with “I” language, empathy, and good listening skills make for a healthy dynamic, and bode good interactions later on down the road. 

For many, defining the relationship also opens up conversations about boundaries. Say you and a partner have decided your relationship is committed. What are some things you are and aren’t willing to share (i.e. friends’ nights out, a key to your apartment, holiday visits to family)? While boundaries can change and expand overtime, this stage of the relationship is important for determining how respectful a partner is of your boundaries. Do they respect and work with those boundaries, or do they ignore and push at them? If boundaries are violated, talk about it, and if that kind of behavior persists, this might be a sign that the relationship isn’t healthy or compatible. Remember, respect should be part of relationships at every stage!

First starting to date someone is a rollercoaster of emotions! There’s excitement and attraction, but also uncertainty and doubt. Though it may not feel like a “relationship” just yet, it is still important to make sure the dynamic is healthy and respectful. Learn to recognize the difference between normal nerves and a legitimate concern. Do you get nervous butterflies, or genuinely dread the next date? Do you second guess yourself because you want to impress them, or because you fear what they’ll say? This is also the time to really get to know each other, which can feel like a lot of pressure. Though it can be hard, it’s important to be yourself! Talk about things that interest you, ask each other questions, and be honest about what you want. Honesty, communication, and openness are hallmarks of a good relationship, and it’s never too early to start applying these skills to a dynamic.

It’s also important to recognize potential red flags. How does the person you’re seeing treat others? If they abuse and berate waitstaff or talk poorly about their family and exes, this may reveal a pattern of disrespect in their relationships–something you don’t want to get mixed up in. Are they unnecessarily secretive? The biggest part of first dating is getting to know each other; refusing to answer basic questions about family or daily life may mean they have something to hide. Lastly, do you just get a bad feeling from this person? Our instincts are there for a reason, and sometimes they pick up on things we may not consciously notice. If something doesn’t feel right, it’s okay to break things off quickly. Remember, you are allowed to go at whatever pace you want, be that quick or slow. It’s your relationship, and it deserves to be comfortable, respectful, and above all, healthy!

We talk a lot about healthy relationships here at HRI! One type of relationship that often comes to mind is romantic ones. Romantic relationships are full of excitement and anxiety, and can also undergo a lot of change. People go from friends or strangers to intimate partners, sharing their emotions, living space, even children. Kindness and respect are important at every stage of a relationship, and that’s why HRI will be discussing Healthy Relationships at Different Stages. Join us this week on our blog or follow us @guilfordhri to learn more, and don’t forget to check out our upcoming content for Healthy Relationships Week in February (February 9th-15th)!