If you’re feeling intimidated when thinking about talking with your teen about dating, you’re not alone. A good place to start when talking to your teen about dating is to hear them out on what they currently know and think about relationships.
By letting them lead with what they already know, your teen is more likely to feel like this is a conversation instead of a one-sided lecture, increasing the likelihood that they will be engaged and buy into what is being discussed.
Asking your teen for their opinions, experiences, and input will also help them feel heard and respected throughout the conversation.
When teens feel heard by their parents, it offers an opportunity to not only connect meaningfully, but also to have meaningful teaching moments together.
Read more about how to talk with teens about healthy relationships here.
10.23.20 | Talking to Children About Race & Racism
HRI is glad to partner again with the Guilford County Partnership for Children and UNC Greensboro’s Drs. Stephanie Coard and Laura Gonzalez to provide parents with a resource to assist them in having courageous conversations with their children about race and racism.
The free webinar will feature an overview of the One Talk at a Time program for families and will feature strategies for Latinx American, Asian American, African American, and Black youth and their families to have conversations about race and ethnicity. We will also address strategies for White families to talk together about racism and ways to notice and push back on white skin privilege.
About One Talk at a Time:
We live in a diverse and racially conscious world. All parents play a crucial role in helping their children navigate such a world, including Black, Asian, Latinx, and White parents. Parent-child conversations about race related issues are needed to help children construct a strong foundation and to thrive. The way in which parents of color teach their children what it means to be a person of color and how to navigate racially salient interactions (e.g., racism, discrimination) is referred to as racial-ethnic socialization (RES). The way in which white parents teach their children about unearned racial privilege and how to push back on it is called anti-racism. Parents need resources and tools to help improve their self-efficacy to have conversations about race/racism/RES, and promote the social, emotional, and cultural development of their children. An overview of the conception of One Talk at a Time program followed by description of the Ready Set Talk approach will be presented. Demonstration of video excerpts will be used for illustration purposes.
About the speakers:
Dr. Stephanie Irby Coard is a clinically trained psychologist, researcher and tenured Associate Professor in the Department of Human Development and Family Studies at UNC Greensboro. Dr. Coard’s research examines racial, ethnic and cultural influences on youth development and family functioning and the development and implementation of culturally relevant evidence-based practices targeting African American families and communities. Her clinical training and understanding of socio-cultural factors as they relate to the etiology, treatment and prevention of child mental health problems has informed her work on a number of locally and federally funded studies to pursue research in the development of culturally-relevant strategies to assist African American parents to prevent and manage common behavior problems among youth. This research has resulted in the development of an observational measure of racial socialization and a parenting curriculum and written materials.
Dr. Laura M. Gonzalez is an Associate Professor in the Higher Education program at UNC Greensboro. Her research focuses on college access for students from Latinx immigrant families, which has included community-based outreach for Spanish-speaking parents. She utilizes a social learning approach to interventions, including the One Talk at a Time project and an undocu-friendly college planning website called So Much Potential. In all of her work, she seeks to decrease or eliminate barriers and enhance or co-construct supports to human development, wellbeing, and self-actualization.
Burnout often is a sign that you’re feeling unfulfilled by your current life circumstances. It also can indicate that you previously held expectations that haven’t been met, so it may be time to readjust your expectations so that they are more achievable.
Do what you can to create time in your life for quiet reflection, such as through meditation, prayer, or journaling. This time can help you evaluate what you may want to add (e.g., a new work opportunity or more time for friendships) to your life that is missing currently, or perhaps other things you want to cut out from your life (e.g., expectations about keeping a super-clean house) to help you make the most of your current life circumstances and find as much fulfillment in them as you can.
Many moms sacrifice their own healthy habits to care for their children. Especially when children are very young, good sleep can be hard to come by, and kids at all ages keep their parents so busy that it can be hard to find time to prepare nutritious meals and get exercise.
However, over time, neglecting your health can wear you down even further. Therefore, if you’re feeling burned out, consider ways to increase your physical health, such as by getting more rest, making time for exercise, and learning how to prepare nutritious, quick meals and snacks.
Burnout is more than just stress. If you’re feeling burned out, most likely you feel exhausted most of the time, a lack of motivation, disconnected from others and a sense of purpose, and possibly a lower sense of self-worth.
As a mom, burnout can make you feel like you’re just going through the motions, and it may even become more difficult to feel emotionally connected to your child, even if you’re able to fully care for all of their needs.
When life becomes overwhelming, a professional counselor or therapist can help you identify new solutions and learn new ways of understanding and responding to your emotions. Look for a counselor who is experienced in working with parenting and family issues.
Often, burnout is the result of people carrying more responsibilities than they can manage on their own. So, if you’re experiencing burnout, reach out to friends, family members, and your spiritual community for support.
If you have a supportive spouse or partner, ask them to help carry more of the parenting and household responsibilities, even if for just a short period of time while you can rest and recover.
Don’t be afraid to let others know you are overwhelmed–most likely, others will relate to your experiences and be happy to help.From previous HRI blog post, When Moms Feel Burnout.
As joyful as parenting can be, it certainly can bring excessive and prolonged stress with it!To move beyond burnout, you’ll need more than just a few quick moments of relaxation. This week, we’ll share tips for when moms or primary caregivers feel burnout.
Our first tip is to take your experiences seriously.
Feelings of burnout may pass on their own, but often intentional efforts are needed to move beyond burnout. If you’re starting to feel burned out, give yourself a reasonable timeline to see if the feelings will pass on their own, such as a week or two.
If you reach your deadline and haven’t noticed an improvement, consider what additional steps you may need to take to more intentionally address these feelings.
“We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.” – from To Love and Be Loved
Partners in healthy relationships know that perfection is not the goal. Rather, they look at weaknesses or conflict in the relationship as an opportunity to grow.
When a loved one is facing an addiction, the emotional whirlwind can be intense. It’s normal for people in this situation to move rapidly between different emotions in response to changing circumstances.
There may be times of hopelessness, when it feels like the loved one will never change. At other times, hope shines through, such as if the loved one makes a promise to change or seems to be making efforts to stop abusing substances.
Holding onto hope when a loved one is struggling with addiction is a challenging task, especially because it’s not possible to know what the future holds. However, hope can take many forms in the context of a loved one facing an addiction.
It is important to figure out the behaviors we are willing to live with and the ones we aren’t. Then, it is crucial to communicate those with our loved one. These are not threats or ultimatums. This is not about begging, bargaining, or yelling, nor are they attempts to change their behavior.
Boundaries are about taking care of ourselves and refusing to live in situations where we feel hopeless, helpless, or afraid. With practice, we learn to detach from addictive behaviors and allow natural consequences.
While setting boundaries can feel counterintuitive when supporting someone with an addiction, it can be exactly what is needed to maintain and to rebuild the relationship over time.
