Difficult People

Let’s face it–some people are just harder to get along with than others. During the holidays, you may be more likely to spend time with people that are hard for you to be around, as you’re gathering with friends, family, and coworkers. If you find yourself looking ahead to an upcoming event where you’ll see someone you’d rather avoid, know that you don’t have to let that person derail your holiday spirit. Plan ahead for how you might respond to them if they tend to criticize you or hurt your feelings in some other way.

As much as possible, practice kindness toward them, even if they aren’t showing you the same courtesy. Even if kindness can’t prevent their difficult behavior, it can keep the situation from getting worse. Try not to take their difficult behavior personally. Often, when people act in hurtful ways, it’s because they are hurting themselves. This doesn’t excuse their behavior, but it can help you from internalizing it too much. Try to minimize your interactions with difficult people as much as you can this holiday season, but even when you can’t avoid difficult people, know that they can only take away your joy if you let them!

Conflict during the Holidays

With all the added stress of the holiday season, it’s no wonder that conflicts can arise this time of year. Therefore, it’s important to build up your relationship skills so you’ll be able to address and resolve conflicts before they spiral out of control. Click here to visit our HRI tips on effective conflict management strategies: https://healthyrelationshipsinitiative.org/keys-for-effective-conflict-management/. They include remaining calm, focusing on the current issue, and using positive communication skills. Remember: Conflicts are a natural part of even the healthiest relationships, and you can manage them effectively if you work together to address them in a positive way.

Sadness During the Holidays

As we enter this holiday season, things may not be exactly how you’d like them to be in your family or relationships. Perhaps you’re facing strained relationships, grieving the loss of a loved one, or adjusting to a recent relationship breakup. As much as we often think of the holidays as being a joy-filled time of year, the truth is that the holidays can be a very difficult time for many people. Often, sadness felt during the holidays relates to family and relationship challenges, and this can make many people feel very lonely around the holidays. This year, give yourself permission to feel sad during the holiday season, and know that it’s more normal than you think for the holidays to feel less-than-joyful, especially if you’ve faced recent challenges or changes in your relationships. Also, remember that you can reach out to a local mental health professional if you’d like someone to process these difficult feelings with.

Gift-Giving

As much as possible, simplify the stresses related to giving gifts during the holidays. Many families today feel overwhelmed by the pressure to give so many gifts that they end up overspending and paying for the gifts well into the new year. One way to reduce the financial stress of gift-giving is to set a budget for the people you’ll give gifts to this year, and then make sure you stick with it. Another idea is to talk with your family members about scaling back on the number of gifts or doing a gift exchange so that each person only buys a gift for one other person.

Gift-giving also can be stressful when people feel pressure to find the “perfect” gift for everyone on their list. If this is true for you, try to change your expectation from finding the perfect gift to finding something that is thoughtful and meaningful. Remember that it doesn’t have to be perfect to mean a lot to the person who will receive your gift!

Finally, gift-giving also becomes stressful when your list grows long, and it takes time to find gifts for everyone on the list. Whenever possible, consider ways to simplify your list, such as getting multiple gifts from the same store, ordering items online to avoid the extra time of going to the store, or gifting the same type of item to different people on your list, especially people who aren’t as close to you, such as our children’s teachers and your colleagues. This holiday season, try to recapture the joy in giving gifts by minimizing the stressors involved in the process.

Self-Care During the Holidays

Often, as schedules get busy around the holidays, taking care of yourself is the first thing to go. There are so many demands on your time that it’s natural to have less time for things that help you reduce stress and stay healthy, such as exercising, eating a nutritious diet, and taking time to rest and relax. However, when self-care practices fall by the wayside, it can leave you feeling even more vulnerable to stress and tension in your relationships. Even if you can just take a few minutes a day, try to find ways to care for yourself so you can stay recharged all season long.

Creating New Traditions

Yesterday, we looked at the importance of keeping up important family traditions that are passed from generation to generation. Whether your family has a lot of traditions already or not, consider new traditions that you might start. These could involve a special food you eat together, an activity or outing you do as a family, or something you make together for your home. Whether these new traditions stand the test of time or not isn’t the point. Instead, it’s about find new, special ways to connect and celebrate the bonds in your family.

Family Traditions

Did you know that traditions are an important part of a family’s culture? More than just “doing the same thing every year,” holiday traditions create a unique meaning for the holidays that help family members connect, especially across the generations. Some traditions lose their appeal over the years, but whenever possible, try to keep important family traditions going during the holidays!

Saying No

One of the biggest stressors on families and relationships during the holiday season is how busy our schedules are. It can feel like life starts moving at 100 miles per hour during the holidays, and this can create a lot of tension in relationships. Whenever possible, protect your time for your loved ones this holiday season. It’s okay to say “no” to tasks and events that aren’t essential for you or your family. Saying “no” to unnecessary obligations allows you to say “yes” to extra time with the people you care about the most!

Realistic Expectations during the Holidays

A lot of people feel pressure to make things “just right” during the holidays. We all have images in our mind of what we’d like holiday celebrations to be like–Movies, advertisements, and social media all show images of happy, joy-filled relationships surrounded by beautiful decorations, and it’s easy to wish for the same problem-free celebrations in our own lives.

Of course, a lot of families face stress during the holidays, and it’s exacerbated when people expect everything to go perfectly and smoothly. This holiday season, be careful to keep realistic expectations throughout the season. If you expect that things won’t go perfectly or that you’ll be able to celebrate stress-free, you’ll be better prepared to handle the stressors and challenges that arise during this busy time of year.

#FindHelpFriday: Guilford County Partnership for Children

This #FindHelpFriday, we’re excited to feature our partners at the Guilford County Partnership for Children! The Partnership helps families with accessing Smart Start funded family support programs for children and families ages 0-5, as well as additional programs in the community to assist them with their needs.”

According to LouMecia Staton, who works in the Outreach & Programs Department at the Partnership, “We work with and fund a number of Community Partners in the Guilford County community who are dedicated and committed to making sure that the children and families they serve, are provided with the resources necessary to help them succeed.” The Partnership for Children supports many key programs for young children in our community, including Reading Connections, Healthy Start, Learning Together, Juvenile Court Infant Toddler Initiative, Parents as Teachers, and Reach Out & Read.

Check out this video to learn more about the Partnership for Children from some of their team members:

If you’ve got young children in your family, be sure to familiarize yourself with the Partnership’s many programs by checking out their web-site: http://www.guilfordchildren.org/.